


guérison

by silena



Series: la douleur exquise [2]
Category: Red Queen - Victoria Aveyard
Genre: And like, F/F, Suicidal Thoughts, also like, and yes i apologize for the fact that it's so short, at all, but hey it gets better (kind of), ok so mare and cal have ptsd, so yeah it does get better, sorry it's so short lmao, the title means "healing" remember?, they're not ok, unedited
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-13
Updated: 2016-04-13
Packaged: 2018-06-02 03:05:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 860
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6548074
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silena/pseuds/silena
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>in which mare and cal try to finally figure out who they really are | "the path to salvation is laden with misery." / "he has her at his side and a toolbox at the other, and he has found his safe haven in them."</p>
            </blockquote>





	guérison

**Author's Note:**

> part ii to [_saigner_](http://archiveofourown.org/works/6038845).
> 
> sorry for being so late in writing this and another apology for the fact that this is so short and unedited! i know i promised this at the end of february, but eh—what can you do?
> 
> title is french for "healing" / "la douleur exquise" means exquisite pain, wanting someone you can never have / companion piece is _saigner_ meaning bleed.

The path to salvation is laden with misery, and she does not expect the onslaught of tears that had come when she went back to Tuck, though she probably should have.

This time around, it’s different. She’s not mourning Shade anymore, she’s mourning herself.  And Maven.

She is mourning the loss of someone who never had the chance to be a child. Someone who had to grow up too quickly or be eaten alive by the terrible horrors of the earth. Someone who needed to be someone they never could.

But, now, she can be who _she_ wants to be. There is no longer Mare Barrow the thief, or Mareena Titanos the lost Silver Princess. There is simply herself, the endlessly wide ocean, and the melted amber eyes of a former prince.

• • •

His very presence provokes mixed feelings from the people, no matter where he goes. When he was Tiberias Calore VII, it was mostly contempt from the Reds and adoration from the Silvers. When he’d attempted to leave that sullied name behind and discover his own person, he’d gotten suspicious glances and the anger of his brother’s facsimile. And now? It is simply anger or pity, without any in-between. They either blame him for a loved one’s death or extend overly sweet sympathies. For some of the island’s residents, there is as much fire in their eyes as in his bracelet.

The fact that there are more and more NewBloods arriving on the shores of Tuck worries him beyond belief.

But not for his _own_ life.

It’s for Mare’s, and her family’s. By association, he’s probably putting them in danger.

The people here, while essentially refugees themselves, are none the kinder to the strangest of their neighbors. The NewBloods are strangers to them and strangers to themselves. It made sense that he, a Silver, got the brunt of the hatred.

• • •

He finds redemption in his machines.

He has _her_ at his side and a toolbox at the other, and he has found his safe haven in them.

He still fears that the day will come when everything he’s worked for—everything he’s _dreamed_ about—will fall apart and he is left with nothing but his own aching soul. But with her? This hell seems a little bit more livable.

• • •

She finds redemption in honing her own skill.

It takes her _oh-so long_ to finally be able to say she’s mastered her lightning and can wield it to the best of her ability, but when she _does_ , it’s the most satisfactory feeling in the world.

It’s the feeling of power it gives her that’s important. Power, but of a different sort than Maven craved. It was strength to defend herself, if need be. Strength to protect herself and the ones that she loved.

The very same strength that she didn’t have when Maven owned her.

• • •

His world is turned on its axis and he feels as if he’ll hurl his lunch into the ocean.

He can’t even remember a time when he’s ever been this nervous.

Later, when he’s looking back at the past, he finds himself a bit foolish that he’s even worried. Mare agrees.

But, later, when she finally says yes, it’s all worth it.

• • •

Her nightmares are a lot less vivid several months later, after he’d asked her to marry him in a tiny little ceremony by the sea, but she can’t help but remember everyone she’s lost.

She’s taking her time to recuperate and it’s taking a steady pace. Healing is a process that takes time, something that they have a little too much of these days. Mare would rather be doing something— _something_ — to take her mind off of the fact that so many people she’s given a piece of her heart to are gone.

• • •

He can’t remember how he’d ever functioned without her. She is his everything and the only reason why he still wakes up every day instead of letting himself float away into the eternal bliss of death.

She is the bright morning sun, always shining and always there. She is the ethereal moon, graceful and elegant in all of her ways. She is his _universe_ and he would do anything for her.

• • •

A year later, she finds herself in the midst of longing. For what, she does not know. She should be happy. She _is_ happy.

She’s married. Her family  or what’s left of it loves her. Her husband loves her. She has her best friend who’d go to the ends of the earth and back for her. She has someone who is a sister in everything but blood as a confidant.

But there’s something and she can’t place her finger on it. Until one day she actually puts a hand to her stomach and feels a kick.

• • •

His daughter is one of the most beautiful people he’s ever laid his eyes on.

She has his eyes and her mother’s everything else. Her name is Rheya Persephone Calore, but he hates her last name and the connotation that accompanies it.

But she is beautiful and she is theirs. And, for once, he does not see his brother in something Cal has.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! i hope you enjoyed. please do leave a kudos and/or a comment if you liked it.
> 
> p.s. while i _am_ sorry about not writing much and putting this off for so long, i'm not apologising for mare and cal's state of mind :) also, thumbs up if you liked the name of the cal/mare kid!  <3


End file.
